A little intro video's here, if you'd like to see it. You'll get the gist. https://www.instagram.com/p/CgP7c5XPoqF/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y%3D It's been awhile since I wrote, and this might be a good follow up to my last post: A Pandemic Of The People. Since it sure isn't over. If you think it is, well we are living in different worlds. If you think the virus is simply becoming endemic and it's something we'll have to live with and that's that swipe your hands together and wave it away...well we are living in different worlds. Maybe I'd rather be in yours? I won't expand on this next section--even though I'd love to--cause I think the facts are all we need here: when the pandemic started I got laid off. The government, which I say now much more like this: The government (!), well it offered all its laid off citizens (there were many of us, remember?) financial assistance in the form of The CERB (remember?). I remember. Even though I almost forgot,...

I have been accused of "mocking" covid deaths. I have been accused of being "ok with killing grandma". I have been accused of being a negligent parent whose child may not survive his fifth birthday. Those are hateful and hurtful and untrue things to say. I am writing here to shed a humane light on people like me. To defend myself, and to defend others like me. Maybe some don't think that's necessary--that I'm being too sensitive or blowing this out of proportion. Maybe some who used to like me now hate me? Maybe some think I've gone nuts. Maybe some are curious, and open, and want to listen. And, I know some of you are just like me. I hope whoever you are, that you stay here. And hear me out. Find comfort in what I write, or find some sense of understanding. We can agree, and we can disagree. Either is ok with me. But it's not ok with me to be accused of the above.  ----------------------------------------------------------- How'd we all get ...

It really is a life or death situation, childbirth. While I thankfully don't know anyone personally who has died doing it, I know of a couple people who've tragically lost their babies in the process. In fact, one of my great aunts lost her baby during childbirth and never had another one. When I was born she gave me the christening dress she'd had for her own baby. The older I get, the more I realize the miracle of certain things. And the more babies I've had, the more I've feared childbirth. But, whew, I'm on the other side now! I don't have looming thoughts day and night of, "How is this baby gonna come out?"...done!! And...I'm remembering how postpartum is kinda like the 4th trimester. My self isn't quite back, and baby isn't quite wanting to be on the outside world just yet, and things hurt, and everyone is adjusting, and crying is common. But, here and there as I write this, baby is napping NOT in my arms for a small portion of th...

When you're pregnant... When you're pregnant you wake up every night to go pee. Each time reminding yourself that you will possibly someday wake up in the night ready to have the baby, or have to labour through that night to finish having the baby...and you think about *how will you DO this* and *how tired you'll be* and *how much you don't want to do that (again)* and how *didn't I say this the last time?* and *well then why am I doing this again?* and...you pee...heave yourself back into bed with all the pillows, and conk out for another couple hours. At least(?) you're not up all night breastfeeding baby yet. But mostly that sounds better than the doom of impending labour. So. When you're pregnant you wake up every night to go pee and think about how well *at least I can just go right back to sleep* cause the baby's still tucked inside, getting everything he needs without you doing much of anything. I mean, without you doing much of anything that requ...

I'm finally here again. This being my fourth baby, and wanting to preserve the ME I'd been remembering since the last time I grew a baby 7 years ago, I intended to document each week of these 9 months. You know, to really appreciate it, and to carry on my writing, and to share it with others. I started at Week 3ish, cause that's when I found out. Here are some preliminary excerpts. Check for a trend... Weeks 1-4 (last part) Thinking about how they (*my kids*) will welcome a baby is a beautiful thing, though. And holding on to myself through this process, as I write each week, is my future gift to all my children, and to myself. I hope others might enjoy as well.                 For now, though, I’m tired. Time to eat. See you next week.   Week 5 (last part) Well, I feel the laying down calling me, so I must heed that call. I might not be as inspired to write these next few weeks, cause first trimester and al...

My very favourite thrift shop closed a couple weeks ago. Life's bowl of terrible things has been picked from quite freely this year, hasn't it? Thrown into the bag! Thrown into our faces! Littered across the sidewalk! Dumped all over the carpet! Spilled all over the floor till it's seeped under the refrigerator! Need I go on? I've spent so many happy and sad and bored and lonely and restless and searching moments in that thrift shop over the years, ever since I moved to this neighbourhood in 2009.  There's a route I could take, when I walk to buy milk or eggs or toilet paper or something, where I'd get to pass by that shop. And I'd often choose it--that route--so I could look in the windows. The store always had such great window displays, and looking in them would get me excited for my next trip there. Sometimes I'd see something in the window display I might want to buy!  At Christmas time, when I was extra poor but wanted to keep the "let the kid...