It's a whirlwind. "Gweta!" "T-Teeeeee!" "Sim-ey!" "Mama!" Orange rinds everywhere. "Clear your plates please," said with the sigh of repetition. Chairs askew. Everywhere askew. When can I have my thoughts? When can I sit down and get up when I WANT to? Popcorn everywhere. The fullness is overwhelming. It won't stop. Go go go! Make food. Clean it up. Make food. Clean it up. Make food. Clean it up. Make food. Clean it up. Am I making food again? Am I cleaning up again? If I'm making food again, why is no one eating it? If I'm cleaning up again, how has it gotten so messy again? When will they do these things for themselves? Without reminders? Should  they do these things for themselves? Without reminders? Or should I be helping them with these things? Without nagging? Because that's what a mother does? Just like should I say that differently, do that differently, be less pre-occupied, be ...

Let's remember: we're all just trying here. It's the real deal, but we don't really get a dress rehearsal. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well, this won't necessarily be all I have to say about this topic, and I didn't intend to title it as such, but it just came out. I remember Matthew had a book with a similar title, something like Between Two Worlds: Children of Divorce . It had a kind of ominous presence. I teach Early Childhood Education--in case you didn't know--to adults who want to work with young children. I have to teach things like child development, guiding and caring, art, music, health and safety, all that type of thing. There's this one textbook I have to use that has this very specific section all about the "myths" of divorce. I have to make sure and cover it, because it's on the exam. I didn't write the exam, it's a stan...

It's in all caps cause it's a loaded word. Isn't it? You don't want to see it, it's kind of ugly, harsh, terrifying, you want to run from it ...or...maybe you want to run TO it? Because it feels safe. Safer, more predictable, than an unpredictable world. I'm going to be writing about a very loaded and heavy and sensitive subject tonight. I'm taking a risk in doing that, but the ideas for my posts pop in naturally. I don't have to force to find something. Sometimes more than one idea pops at once, but I always know which to go with. And tonight it's ADDICTION. When I was 16 I had my first real boyfriend. I *think* I fell in love, all that, I mean honestly maybe the love part wasn't really there, but to my 16 year old self it was. So I count it. Plus the relationship went on for the better part of a year, and was as serious as you can be when you're just 16. This was nearly 24 years ago, and, of course, it ended in heartbreak. That's ...

How I met Simon, that's what this post is going to be about. ................................................................................................................................................................... The agony of dating is real, people. Maybe you've forgotten, cause it's been since high school or university since you tried it. But do we ever really forget something so agonizing? I spent 2016-2018 in this agony! Ha! Ok, it wasn't allllllllllll agony. But no thanks, I don't ever want to go back there! And to top it off, the whole online dating thing makes it that much more ridiculous. That's for another post. Or never. It's because of an online date that I met Simon, but I did not meet Simon through online dating. Does that make sense? He did say, though, that a year or so before we met he had tried out some dating site--once, and he hated it--but he saw my profile on there, liked it or something, maybe even tried to talk t...

I'm here again, taking a break from licking the cupcake batter on the eve of Hosea's 5th birthday. I know I know, you shouldn't eat cake batter that has eggs in it. I take chances sometimes. Usually things work out. It's common to feel nostalgic on birthdays isn't it? Some people, more than others, feel this way. I know today when Hosea was saying to me, "Mama, you 39, next you gonna be 40" and I was saying, "Yes, let's not speak of it" well, the whole birthday thing was getting to me. And I have many more months to go! For a kid, though, having a birthday doesn't usually have that kind of baggage yet. Tomorrow Hosea can no longer tell people, "I'm 4 and a half, almost 5" when they ask him how old he is. He can simply say, "I'm 5"! (We'll see, he might have to start adding days to that, given his whole obsession with numbers happening right now!). Of course, a parent is gonna feel that nostalgia when t...

The other day Greta exclaimed proudly, "Oh! That's a great quote. I'm gonna write that one down!"...about something she'd just said. (Was I proud at that moment? Yes. Was I amused? YES!) What was it she said, you wonder? "It's not the wrong way if it's working."  Apparently she had just said this to Therese, in defense of something probably. And then she felt quite impressed by herself. This got her thinking...hmm maybe I can come up with some more quotes! Next was, "Negativity is just a word, and like all words we can choose to use it or not use it." When she read that one out loud she sounded a bit like she was sarcastically impersonating a teacher or something. "I'm coming up with quotes," she told Hosea, as she sat at the table to write them down, to which he quickly responded with, "Chicken nugget!", "Oh, gooooooooood one!" we both told him, laughing. Aside from the card she made for her st...

For Valentine's Day, I'm going to post some poems on love, romantic love--of course, in all its variations. It's light, like a decorated brown bag of valentines! Taped lollipops, cute faces, smiles, laughter! It's heavy, like a hallway full of memories. Like waiting, wanting. It's here for us all,  it comes for us all, whether we like it or not. And now...that meager 2019 poem by me (ha!), will be followed by poems that have and will stand the test of time: from the 15th century to the 21st century. Did you get chocolates today? A love card? Lots of kisses and hugs? Did you watch a silly romantic movie by yourself and drink wine? Did you rage-fully ruminate on past wrongs? Did you pine away after someone...mostly in your mind, maybe in your actions? Did you forget it was even Valentine's Day? Well, it's time for some poetry! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- sometimes i stop myself lfrom saying the wo...