Dear School

Dear School,

Why do you have to be so booooooooooooooring?

Why must you break their spirits?

Sincerely,

Their Mom

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I thought it was just the other one, and it made sense there. He was like a wild horse and they were like the ones to break the horse in. I guess cause I couldn't...or wouldn't.

Early on he refused to go into the school, only stayed on the playground. "I'm not going in there," he said when dropped off. Some lovely staff support workers came out to stay with him for however long it took, and then eventually he went in. Maybe that was the way he broke. 

This guy, though, he's so much more, well, compliant! A little manager, organized, seeking to please people. Used to watching everyone else go to school so why not join in? Isn't it about time?

Well...that was before. That was...the honeymoon. It was short-lived.

Now all we hear at night and in the morning is a sad and mostly resigned, "I don't want to go to school. It's so boring."

Kindergarten! Montessori, even! Where I expected the hands on nature would keep the boring-ness at bay. If done how it could be done. 

I know here, though, there's lots of "Montessori" that's not really Montessori. There's lots of interpretations of Montessori that likely make Montessori roll in her grave. There's lots of thinking that oh wow Montessori = Academic. Montessori = Get Ahead, Be Quiet, Do These Tasks Just The Way We Tell You To.

Montessori intended her offerings for children struggling with special needs and poverty, not for this. When I asked the teacher if the children get to talk or socialize while they are doing their trays of "activities" she said, "I'm pretty strict and I expect it to be quiet work done independently." (Aside: she's lovely and I completely trust that she will be nothing but lovely with my child. But!)

Well. Obviously there's a time and place for that. But...kindergarten? Obviously I only have some of the information, maybe this expectation is only 20 minutes of the day(?). I should probably ask. But then what? I love the other aspects of Montessori that are offered: learning through the materials, I love the mixed-age groupings. The others had a fine enough time in the Montessori stream, Joey was lucky to get accepted with the sibling priority. I just...hadn't expected it to feel so dreadedly boring for him. Hosea had the same teacher, but I don't remember this with him--the "activities" quiet way of things. Maybe she got more strict over the years? Or, maybe he just wasn't able to articulate it to me the way Joey is. 

If it wasn't Montessori it'd be some other form of managing children, making them sit on spots, criss cross apple sauce hands in your lap body governance. Idea governance. Indoctrination. Think this way, sure ask questions but only within these confines. Sure we'll support you and welcome you in all our inclusionary ways but really...really: only if you behave, only if you comply with our expectations for "behave". If not, well, good luck/riddance!

I get it, it's a system. Teachers go in with ideals, likely outside of all this. And their spirits, too, are crushed. They are broken in. Burnt out. Bored.

Many keep the spirit alive--I do know that too! 

It is hard work. I do know that too.

I just wish that more of what we preached and teached about in my early childhood realms got pushed UP to higher grades, rather than so much of those higher up practices getting pushed DOWN. Onto little 5 year olds. 

When Joey complained that all they were doing was "learning stuff" and "we're not playing(!)" I told him, "Well, Joey, you know that when you play you're learning too?" and the moment stood still, his little face stunned, his brain taking it in, his eyes widening with enlightenment. "We are?"

We don't do it right in ECE either, so much of the time. We manage and time-line "play" into small segments in between all the other stuff, for the most part. It's very few places that allow a free flow of it and really use their teacher education to try to grasp what's happening, extend and deepen it. How much of the curriculum objectives in public systems could actually be met this way too, though? Why does it have to still be such a factory set up? Is that what we are all preparing for? Is it still the period of industrialization?

These are rhetorical questions. 

What world are we preparing children for? A world where they're just bored, doing boring tasks that someone else tells them to do in order to check boxes? A world where their ideas and their spirits are just...squashed? Criss cross applesauce hands in our laps nodding heads in unison while all taking the same drink of "these are the things we must learn"?

It could be so much more.

Like Simon said today, "He's bored cause he's a human! Humans are supposed to be out hunting wild animals for dinner and then spending time in their shelter resting for the evening!" (Or something like that.) Is that what's the problem with so many of us? 

I'm not saying forego "education", I'm not saying there used to be a better way...cause I have no idea. I'm just saying it's really sad. Life is hard enough, why can't school and the absolute privilege it could be should be to get to go be more...meaningful? More humanizing, and less de-humanizing? Full of people -- children AND adults -- who WANT to be there, because they love it! Because it challenges them and ignites them and makes them THINK! It welcomes their bodies, their minds, their spirits in actions, words and deeds. 

Easy for me to say, I'm just Their Mom complaining about school. I know. I'm just a Mom wanting more for my kids. I'm not going to home-school. I'm going to go along with the system. But I will buck it here, and I will let my kids do the same. Joey sits criss cross applesauce on some dot just fine, but hey if he struggles with that and wants to tell me well you know what, I'll empathize, I'll question it with him. I'll remind him how his playing is important, it's learning. 

I saw Greta's old kindergarten teacher today from wayyyyyyyy back. We got to chatting, and she asked what Greta might be going into next year--since she'll be graduating. It's not going to be a big money maker, but I won't tell you here because that's not my place right now. And who knows if it's even an idea that's sticking. But when I told it to her former teacher she looked so pleased, especially cause I had added that Greta is really good at and enjoys it. "I love that: she knows what she wants to do--and she's following what she's good at and loves." I'd never trace that back to that teacher, but she was there for one year of Greta's life and that's not nothing. And I felt so refreshed by her response -- she's caught up in the system and has dedicated many years of her life to it -- but in that moment a pureness shone through. A true teacher light. I highly doubt she is able to run her class from this perspective. Maybe somewhere, someways it shines amidst the grey heaviness of the system.

More, please! 

What are we here for, anyway?