Marineview Chapel

I tried to think of a jazzier name for this post, essential for reeling the reader in, but...I can't. It's its name. It means more than its name, but it really is and was a specific place.

It was the place years ago (nearly 19 now!) that caught us when we moved to Canada. A fresh couple in our 20s, making the moves for our life together, our careers, just a stopping off point to the next things--that's what Vancouver was supposed to be.

We moved from our well-loved Seattle apartment, our community of artsy friends, a fresh Master's degree on my part, a hip church with all the greatest music--to another city, another country! I felt the pride as we were pushed off by my grandparents (especially)--off to do great things! Cause Matthew was going to the prestigious Regent College, and he was well on his way to a career in The Church, like many in my family. Grandpa Harry was proud.  

I don't know what I was thinking, really, not ever all that comfortable in The Church. And here I was going to be the wife of a seminary student? Albeit a Christianity and the Arts seminary student, but still. But still...later it turned into the big-time Master of Divinity, the path to priesthood, really.

First, though, we had Marineview.

Marineview Chapel caught us right when we moved to Vancouver, cause it was right near where our basement suite was. We found this basement suite through a Regent group, and since we had no idea of Vancouver neighbourhoods or anything like that we just went with it. The couple we rented from had a couple of children upstairs in their main home, and they were a church-y family well connected to Regent. So, they wanted to rent to a Regent family. And soon we found the church up the street from our place (well, really, up and around the winding subdivision suburb like roads of the land we were on, indigenous land leased out and partly Reserve--our landlord was on the leased part and was indigenous--and my first job here was at an indigenous preschool! (another story)). The point is, though, the church was close by, as close as close-by from there was.

Somehow we heard about it or saw it or met someone from there and then all of the sudden wow Matthew had a job! A job at a church! While studying at Regent! Ok then we were welllllllllll on our way. Or so I thought haha.

Marineview Chapel welcomed us with such openness, such a cradle of special-ness like wow I felt we were a Special Couple being placed there, we were being acknowledged/understood/seen/encouraged/supported by that job placement--not only in Vancouver but also in the world we were trying to solidify a foothold in: The Church World. 

I think we went there for about 7 or 8 years? Till Hosea was at least a baby.

We had all three of our kids while attending there. Starting off with no kids, then gradually one then one more then ohhhhhhhhh wow that last one! The congregation there wasn't huge by any means: they had one service. But, there were so many families there! With young children! As much as I never felt that comfortable in churches, I do remember loving them when I was young cause all those friends and all that running around! So, I was happy to give my children that experience.

With my fresh Master's degree and experience working with young children I was happy to volunteer in the nursery. When I was pregnant with Greta I felt comforted and shown-the-ropes by some of the more experienced moms (you know, moms who already had two or three children themselves). Eventually I joined the Moms Group, sent my girls to the preschool there, all that.

Why now? Why so much Marineview Chapel now? Well, cause I suddenly keep seeing so many people I used to know from there! Several weeks ago I saw one of the pastors--a couple we had been very close with. I saw one of the preschool teachers prior to that, one of the moms of an older kid who I used to chat with and look up to, and at Greta's show I saw several more of the kids--who used to be little little little ones--all grown up!!! "Wow!" I said--followed by, sometimes (depending on how I thought it might land), "You're so beautiful!" "I remember when you used to..." and they'd smile or laugh or look at their mom like what really? And I felt old, in such a lovely way. I remember people doing that with me--don't we all have that?--like, they remember you from when you're little and then say something that might be embarrassing but so true and you all remember your humanness for a little second? See how those little people are still those little people--you can see it shine in their faces. Have a Time Flies moment! Realize someday you/they too will be saying that to someone else. 

Anyway, I often see those people from there--these days, and over the years I suppose...but especially for some reason these days. And all the dinners there downstairs in the basement--held for a variety of reasons--they come back to me! The ladies setting up and washing up and the men helping too (yes, but mostly ladies let's be honest). The hospitality! The international things they hosted for people visiting or whatever. The times we were invited to someone's home for lunch after church. The after church BREAD and TREATS! This was when I was introduced to the wealth of Cobs here, and the donations. Marineview Chapel (just like someone in my building now) used to get the leftover un-sell-ables from the bakery, and on Sunday mornings after the service there would be cuts of cinnamon rolls, danishes, scones--and whole loaves of bread just sitting there for the taking home! As we had more children and felt more poor, wow was that the jackpot. And the Tuesday morning Mom's Group, quite the jackpot as well. It only worked if I was on a mat leave (another jackpot: thank you Canada for mat leaves!) but when I was, I would go there with the kids and get some free childcare for a bit while we moms had some kind of intellectual relatable conversation about some reading we had done. It wasn't a Bible reading, it was always something else, and it was such a formative time for me. I learned from those other moms just by being around them, and my kids had this automatic community. With each baby born, too, people were so generous with their time. We always had a meal train come to us: people signed up well in advance to bring us food before and after the births so we were all taken care of. One friend brought us a meal after Joey! In comparison. With the others, though--all thanks to the Marineview spirit--we were set. 

Marineview Chapel wasn't "hip" or "artsy" or "progressive" or show-offy. It just was. It was a special place with warm people of all ages and so many backgrounds. People who'd gone there for YEARS, seen it thru so much, and people who were new, transient try-out-ers, students like us. And many would stay for their time as students, and then leave--and it would be sad--and then new faces would come. All ages, young, older, with kids, without, with older kids, with littles on-the-way. We saw many come and go, while we stayed longer than our initial 2-3 guesstimate. Marineview would never be a mega church. (It wouldn't want to be!) It was Church, like maybe just how it's supposed to be. Because it really felt like a community. 

As our life changed over those 7 or 8 years sometimes I grew tired or wary of my place there, though. Not that I ever felt NOT a part of their community, but that I felt kind of distanced from it--in myself, that is. Again, like I didn't really belong there--like I was looking-at-it, and not in it. As our life changed, I started to feel like the welcome from the place was more of pity and handouts and----ohhh look at them, look at her, help her someone. I realized as I was ruminating over this recently that it was probably more ME pitying ME, self conscious of where I was at. Combine that with the parading around I always had to do at churches growing up, and I guess it makes sense where I was coming from. Now if I ever go to church I feel like people just want to catch me, reel me in like a jazzy title to a post--partly for more numbers (hey, a church is a business too after all), for PR, but also because maybe they see something in me searching and they pity me? And I hate that feeling. I repel it viscerally. I do not need to be "saved", I do not need to be caught, I do not need to be taken under your wing or plugged in. Just see me and give me space. Let me be. 

Marineview Chapel is likely my fondest church memory. Cause it saw me and the us-at-the-time as full of potential. On a launching off spot. It cradled us with an authentic community, it saw our kids come into the world. Those people there, when I run into them now, know something about me that many others do not. Like, when I see them after all these years they remember me--like I remember them, and their children--from that time. And that bit of me is still there, I'm sure they see it. And, just like I see their children have grown, and they themselves have aged so gracefully like a true authentic Marineview-er would, I go back to that comfort with ease and thank it for being part of launching me here. Not where we'd thought we'd launch, but, hey I was never comfortable in churches anyway--have I mentioned that?

We left Marineview because Matthew wanted to pursue to Anglican route, and it was a slow and overlapping move where we kept up those connections. Two more churches after that, together, in close succession--really. At those places I never felt how I did at Marineview. Those places never saw me. In fact, one of them completely rejected us. And by the next one my heart was hard, so I didn't give it a chance. I kept nearly both feet out the door for that time.

I've since found community in my neighbourhood, at the park, at the school playground. That, too, has changed. And I guess that's what happens in life! The park, too, I've seen lately some kids all grown up--from those days--kids I hadn't seen in years! Or, maybe not YEARS, but Crucial years, between being a kid and becoming an adult. "Wow, I remember your mom pushing you in the swings at the park! And you had the most amazing CHEEKS!" I told one girl. Her face! I didn't tell her, but I could still see those cheeks. In all their cute-ness!! There in that swing, in that now-teenager smile.

Since church, and overlapping with parks and schools to now is my karaoke community. It morphs and changes too, but it's always there in some way for me. A little anchor. I went thru my phone the other day to update all my contacts, and I saw all these names of people-passed! Some of them karaoke-ers. Some of them old church connections who, again, I think have passed. Family, too (of course). I can't erase them, if they've passed. I just can't. I leave their names.

Others, though, I'd say to myself, "Who IS this?! ...No idea!" and I'd delete. Contacts from times I'd rather not remember, too. Buh-Bye! Some names I vaguely remembered as old contacts my kids had put in, from before they had phones. Some were moms I've met along the way. And some were Marineview-ers.

I kept the Marineview-ers.