Home Sweet Home: 10 Year Anniversary

May 1st will be the 10 year mark of living in this here little blessing of an apartment.

 

Quiet, tree lined street

Balcony

Hardwood floors

Original 60s kitchen

Original 60s washroom--pink tubs and sinks included

Shabby chic, as they used to say

Just big enough

Two washrooms (oh thank heavens!)

Long term neighbours, and a welcoming cushion to new ones

 

I could go on. 

I will!

Some of you may remember that time I was practically evicted from my last place. One year after Matthew and I separated. I loved that place so much. So much! We had lived in the building for 6 years, between two different apartments. We started at the top, in the beauty. Then, finances got tough, since one of us was in grad school and we had a growing family. So, painfully, we moved downstairs. After that so much changed. Something about that move was a break in many ways, a new marker. I remember going back upstairs during that time, to a party hosted by the new tenants, and just longing with all of my being to be back in that unit again! We'd painted it and everything. When those people moved out after just a year or two they told us right away so we could have first dibs. I guess this was before the management there got too awful.

We took it back, with our 3 year old and 1 year old. Had another one up there eventually, but it was never the same as the first time.

By 2015 when we were separated the management had changed, the neighbours weren't all so great, and our 3 sets of little feet on old poorly insulated hardwood floors got far too much complaints sent their way. The original downstairs neighbours--an older couple--had never complained. The college students that followed them though--did. The next neighbours down there--family of the new management--did. Other nasty things happened there. I felt paranoid, then--pushed out. And I was.

With just a short window I was given a notice to vacate so that the new management's family--turns out the family was actual owners of the building--could take my unit. One of them wanted a bigger place, and nevermind there was a bigger unit that had already been vacated: they wanted MINE. And nevermind that I could've taken the other one they didn't want: they wanted someone else to take that one. I guess.

I remember trying to fight this, looking for legal backing, even starting a petition! Single mother of 3 young children kicked out for no good reason! No good reason...except, I guess, a legal one. 

It was awful. One of the hardest times. I had to find a new place in this city with super high rents, and no one wanted a single mother with young children. Trust me. I tried. Once they found out I had children, well, they'd cool. They'd ask how old. They'd ask If They Were Noisy! I mean, I get it. I don't want noisy neighbours either. But, let's be reasonable, people.

Anyway. That awfulness was 10 years ago! 10 years ago in my search someone (I think I remember who, thank you!) suggested I check this building too, they'd seen a sign out front.

I wasn't hopeful but I tried anyway cause that's what I do. The building was honestly pretty dingy on the inside...or maybe just...old? Dark old green leafed carpet with paint stains on it. An amazing stone wall in the entrance. As I said, a bit run down, but in some ways just my style. (They've since changed that carpet and covered (whhyyyyyy?) part of that stone wall.) 

Al, the manager, showed me this unit. It still had a coffee table in it and an old bed frame. He said I could keep what I wanted of the stuff the last couple had left behind. I still have the coffee table! It's a round pedestal and I love it so much. And some mirrors they left.

Al was a little worried I wouldn't want the place because there's a bit of a slope in the flooring here in the eating area. Ha!!! 

Al said this unit would be great for with kids because one of the bedrooms is over the entry way to the building. YES!!!

Al said I reminded him of his wife who had passed away. How lucky. Al's wife up there somewhere: THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!

 

Al no longer manages this building, there was a bit of a mutiny shortly after I moved here. He was very old, and not able to keep it up. Since him there have been two others, the most recent one a long time tenant here who's seen the kids grow up. He's very chill. (Maybe sometimes too chill? You should see the way they "repair" things here hahahahaha. Charming, actually.)

 

You may remember, too, that my downstairs neighbour--from the beginning!--turned out to be a lovely man Matthew and I knew from Regent. He'd just been displaced as well--his building where we'd had dinner with him a few years back torn down. He told me not to worry about kid noises because he could always just turn down his hearing aids! *Sometimes he doesn't do that, cause he has a life!...and sometimes we get a knock or phone call about the piano, or someone thumping--but he always addresses it directly to us in such an understanding way. What a good neighbour!* 

In this building our downstairs neighbour donates loaves and loaves of free bread in the lobby every week from the nearby bakery, people come by to ask for sugar, milk...people leave items in the lobby they no longer need...people host parties or open houses. Our old next door neighbours--college students--had loud parties a few times and would always slip a warning note under our door, letting us know to tell them if it got too loud. (I would NEVER complain about such a thing, I have learned to just turn on a large fan at night if there are too many noises (Simon is often a night owl so it is also a necessity when sharing a home! Especially a small-ish one.))

The coffee table from the last tenants, here. The mirrors they left, here--and, as a thread of continuity, well, while our relationship was completely over in its way by the time I moved here (I declared so in finality in this here kitchen when he helped me in-all-our-baggage move in) well, he did...help me move in, in his way. The mirrors the other tenants left? He hung them (and much of my other pieces) in my washroom; he's good at putting things straight and centred just how I want. He painted that washroom's wall...and recently Simon re-did! Spruced it up. Matthew also found a chandelier in an alleyway shortly after I moved in, and he knew I hated the dining room lighting here: he hung this vintage crystal one up for me. I like those threads, because life doesn't just cut things off. Things linger, even in discomfort or uneasiness. And it's better just to acknowledge that. Might be the place, too, to mention all the work Simon put into this place before he ever moved in...and since...ahhhh his helper heart on full display from Day 1. The walls we painted together, that brought us back to deciding to have Joey, deciding to get married...

 

This is the longest I've ever lived anywhere. I used to think I lived in my house in Olympia a long time, but really, it was only 7 years. That spot wins second place. At the time, though, it felt like my always-home. In sharp juxtaposition to university, when I moved every year. Sometimes more than once! I hated it so much! The sight of moving boxes to this day puts my stomach in knots. 

 

For my kids who have moved so much with one of their parents, well, I was able to provide them home-stability here. The stability I kind of always wanted growing up, you know, where you're just born and raised in one place. For some reason that always appealed to me, maybe because I moved cities at age 11 and it was pretty devastating. I know some people have it far worse, but that was my worse. I know some people might like the idea of moving around a lot. Maybe my kids will, since they've been stuck here for so long haha.

But. A bit ago I looked at rents, thinking ok maybe we can afford a bigger place finally, and the kids are getting bigger. But when I mentioned this to Therese (the one who was really upset years back when I broke it to her that she probably would never have her own room) she was like, "Well...I don't want to move." I was shocked!!!! Really. 

None of them do, I mean sure if we could move to some large enough house and still keep our same lifestyle I'm guessing they could be convinced. But, just to move to have more division in the space, maybe a little tiny bit MORE space? Nope. Nope nope nope. Plus, one or two of them could be on their way outta here in the next few years, tbh.  Then what would we do with all this extra room?!!!

Not that we're in a rush, but sometimes Simon and I talk about that. Cause in our mind we're staying here forever. "Until I die or they tear the building down!" I tell people.

!!What's so wrong with that?!! I love that idea. 

I can imagine how covered our walls will be by then, you should see them now! The wall of photos that I add to every year. The fun pieces I pick up here and there--"Where will you put it?" I'm asked by family in non-surprised-disbelief----"Oh I'll find a place!" And I do.

Home Sweet Home, with the wears and tears of life all around me, the handprints from some-thing some-time some-one still on a mirror or a wall if I look at it in a certain light. The dings that I don't cover up (but hey if you knock into my red wall or my bedroom green wall you'll HEAR ABOUT IT and I'll have my paint and little brush out in a huff lemme tell you (Grandpa Ronnie would be proud)), the ebb and flow of the bedrooms, the arrangements, the making space, the clearing out, the cluttering in. The traces of life in its many changes and the love and warmth that infuses it all.

 

Never a day goes by that I'm not thankful for this haven. And in my superstition I hope I don't jinx it all by writing this piece!

But I have to. 

Thanks, Kontiki, for a great 10 years.