Beach

Last night I went to the beach.

Beach

As I walk the beach--doesn't matter which one it is, as long as it's in Vancouver--I remember the different experiences I've taken with me, and had, in that wondrous! setting. Grey or sunny--the beach, or the experiences. Who am I this time, at the beach?

Beach

The newly arrived, unaware of the Beach potential

Figuring it out, names lost and muddied like the high tide footprints 

Meet ups to make friends, to be with friends, to celebrate this or that, not yet fully myself, not yet fully appreciative of just how wonderful the Beach is, just how many there are here

Beach, Mom

What a thing, watching children discover the place

Watch out for sand! It gets in eyes, mouths--not just sandwiches--don't forget to feel its warmth, or its coolness

Don't forget how it holds its shape when wet, don't forget how deep it goes and swirls

Buckets, shovels...buckets!...creations lined with seashells sticks pebbles (look at THIS one!) 

But wouldn't it be nice to stay till sunset sometime? Watch the fireworks when it's time, too? Find a place, camp out, take the photos, snuggle up, what a family, what memories...will they let us on the bus this late and this cramped with our stroller?

Alive, that's how I feel at the beach, and on the cramped bus ride home with groggy dirty rosy kids. Not cranky. The day was too good

Though exhausting

Beach

I've walked along in marital turmoil maternal existential crisis staring out into the abyss of a tide-is-out we can walk forever and contemplate

I remember that day--who will judge? what would my future self want? us future us? tide-is-out, so far, so long, Beach

So long, salty tears, no shame, talk it out walk it out with a friend much more wise than I deserve

Heart hurting Beach

Raw soul Beach

Grey forever Beach

And yet, 

the Beach welcomes the loneliest

Maybe that is why I have such a fondness for it; I saw last night all the singletons there to watch, cause hey it's not so bad, being alone at the Beach

But maybe it's better being in love at the Beach...just LOOK at all of THOSE people! (and the youth) surely there till sunset, beyond and before, who needs the view when we have each other 

I know 

Strolling hand in hand along the sand along the seashore just like in the movies, just like in my real life, just like in someone else's real life but it's familiar cause it's been mine, too, at the 

Beach 💓

Beyond and before sunset, that's the best time to be at the Beach

Beach, watch them grow up

Watch the family change, the littlest ones watching the littlest one make sure not to get sand in the eyes, but the toes are ok, for the warmth and the coolness, remember

Remember the waves with the friend from the time of the loneliness but she was with me so it was ok

She is still with me, a cycle back, full circle but not done, concentric fluidity 

All the kids, all the sunsets, which Beach Me this time? I remember so many of them. Cycling down by myself to have a dip to return to myself--whether full and weary or lonely and weary or somewhere in between--the dip does it (what took me so long?)

To cycle back

To the present: full bus, tired kids, sunset's vibrant fading...squash those worries, those pasts...SOAK IT IN

They are singing Joey's favourite song: 

"For he IS an Englishman" without my prompting, soothing his tired little rosy cheeked face, full circle for me, that Beach Mom, Beach Veteran, Beach Lover, Beach Lonely, Beach Full

Beachfull, thank you very much

Let it runneth over.