Dear Vacation,

Dear Whistler,

I hadn't been to visit you in years. In fact, the only time I visited you--before just recently--was when I didn't even live near you! I'm so sorry for that, because now I know you better.

What a nice idea, to go up to you for the day, though, to realize how easy that was. To breathe in your air and see your sights and familiarize myself with your space! To drive back home in the dark, the kids falling asleep in the backseat after a full experience. To realize we needed to do that again soon. But not for awhile, we'd thought.

Then! Do you know what happened? Two days later an old friend from when I was a tween/teen contacted me on social media! I hadn't talked to her since 1998. And here she was messaging me out of nowhere! Asking me if I wanted to take her family's timeshare in Whistler for the week, that I'd pay a really cheap fee for it. They couldn't come, cause of the COVID border closure between the US and Canada. 

Yes YES YES!! I thought right away. I didn't even question it. My gut reaction was wow a week in Whistler? Yes YES YES!!

But, the thing was, it would have to be in the next couple of days. So I sat there with that message, letting my gut reaction slide away, realizing oh what bad timing. I was starting my new job in a few days, the kids were supposed to be with their dad for a long weekend, and Simon was having to go back to work after his week of time off. 

I didn't sit with that too long, though, don't worry. I just took slight dips into the idea that it wouldn't work out. Slight dips, after that slide. Mostly my brain shot to: HOW can this work out? HOW?

I quickly hatched a scheme, cause that's what I can do. I'm used to having to do that. 

I would re-arrange the kids' time with their dad just a bit, go with Simon for 3 nights, come home and get the kids and let Simon go to work, and then go back with the kids for 3 more nights--bringing my laptop so I could successfully do my work from home for the start of my job. Ta-da! 

This opportunity could not be passed up. I let Lynn know I was IN, and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Feeling a bit sad that my excitement was at the expense of her loss. But also realizing she was probably so happy to know the place wouldn't go to waste. She had great memories of you, and wanted someone else to enjoy in her absence.

So, Whistler, I looked forward to going back to you in 2 days time. 

Until then,

Megan

..........

Dear Whistler,

Not enough people know how great your Vancouver to Whistler shuttle is! All you have to do is easily buy the ticket online--for super cheap, go downtown and catch it (it leaves RIGHT on time!) and then enjoy the wind-y up the mountains! Of course with COVID we all had to wear masks, and couldn't eat or drink for the hour and forty-five minutes. But that was do-able. 

I brought headphones so I could listen to music for the morning ride up, and I got motion sickness so I ended up just closing my eyes and missing the scenery, but that was ok. And then the music turned out less entertaining than the people on the bus. So I pretty soon turned that off in favour of the live entertainment happening right in front of me! This riff-raffy wild card of a girl, well apparently she's 30 and I know that cause she announced it incredulously to many people on the bus at the beginning of the ride, she sat right in front of Simon and I. She'd make self deprecating remarks about how she couldn't "shut up", so I knew this would be interesting. Also, there was a guy across the aisle from her who she started up chit chatting with right away. He, like her, had been smoking before getting on the bus, and looked a bit sketched out too. Rough, both of them. Like they'd been sleeping on the streets for the last few nights and hadn't showered in a long while, and definitely hadn't changed their clothes. She asked him, hushed, if he had "anything" on him. (He'd already assumed she was drunk, to which she told him she wasn't, "Just high." On what??) He answered her, "No, just some pain pills. Hydromorphone,"..."Sweet", she replied. I listened to her fishing for info, finding out where he lived, who he lived with (no one), she shared with him her problem with alcohol and visits to rehab. He mentioned having broken his back, to which she kind of ignored because she liked to talk about herself much more. But I thought, "Ohhhh the pain pills..." And halfway through the ride she'd already wrangled him into a trip to the Circle K just after the bus stop in Whistler. "To buy the driver a water," she had insisted on buying the driver SOMETHING, and that's all he'd accept. But it clearly strung her new friend along beside her longer, cause maybe he needed something at the Circle K too. They had great chemistry, these two. I imagined they'd have a lot of passion--first in good ways--and that they also would be super volatile and the whole thing would end violently and with throwing stuff and things like that. Probably lots of getting back together.

Anyway, we arrived in Whistler and as those two walked off the bus I said to Simon, "They're gonna go get it on," to which he smiled and smirked with, "Ya THINK?!" He knew too.

So it began! Our trip to you, Whistler! As a couple. 

It was like a honeymoon! Pure bliss, but still, I was there. My anxieties, my moods. We can't ever really vacation from ourSELVES can we? It was fine, though. I managed. I shouldn't expect TOO much of you, Whistler.

Wow you have a lot to do! A lot to offer! How to choose?? 

The first full day Simon made it really clear he wanted to do the gondola rides, including the Peak to Peak. I made it really clear I was a scaredy cat and I'd probably be terrified and motion sick. So no, thanks very much. We'd gotten a late start, taking our time enjoying the room in the morning. No kids, no chores, no things screaming at us to get done. But soon we realized we should venture out. Your mountains were calling!

Too late to get bikes, probably. So we decided today would be the day for walking and hiking. And Simon made more hints about the gondolas. I was stubborn, and he wasn't pushy, he was Canadian. But I knew...I knew we'd have more fun together if I just let loose and did it. I knew it's these shared experiences that bring people together. I knew he was right that sometimes facing or conquering fears is really good for a person. He was shocked when I changed my mind.

First, though, we knew we were gonna hike. We'd take the Peak to Peak once we'd hiked ourselves to the top, and then we'd take the gondola back down. 

It was a super hot day. We began our ascent, and thankfully it took us into woods. He took some funny videos and then we focused. Hike hike hike! Up up up! Go go go! There weren't really many (or any, most of the time) other people around! Just us. I kept thinking how nice it was to have a partner in such great shape that we could do this together. He's an energizer bunny! (Until he Must Stop and re-charge.) 

We passed some gondolas, at a halfway point. And decided to skip them, keep walking to the top. It would feel so good when we got there, we knew it! 

But then, I spotted movement out of the corner of my eye and checked to see what it was. 

Bears! A mama bear and two cubs. Down from us in a meadow-y area. Walking mostly away from our direction. But still, terrifying. No one else was out. We hadn't brought anything like bear spray (I have some! For humans! But hadn't brought it! Plus I've heard it doesn't really work on bears anyway...false security. Does it work on humans??) I wanted to get as far away from those bears as possible, so we increased our speed. "No, I do NOT want to stop and get a picture!" I told Simon. "Let's GO!" So we did.

Then, about 10 minutes later, in a wind-y part of the trail, full of bushes and trees and huge rocks, him up a little bit ahead of me, I heard a distinct growl. "Simon, did you hear that?" "What?" "A growl. Let's get out of here NOW." "What? Are you sure it wasn't just me?" You don't make those sounds, I thought to myself. He thinks I'm delusional. Skittish. "No, it wasn't you. It was a bear. Get down here NOW. I'm not going any farther." I was Pure I Want To Survive BUSINESS. He hesitated, but I'd already left. I needed to get back down to that mid-way gondola ASAP, without running into the mama and cubs who were still visible and who we were now walking back TOWARDS. 

Don't think about it Don't think about it Just get there Just get there Don't look Yes look Keep your wits about you You need to get home to your children You are a mama bear just like her Keep the good vibes and walk as fast as you can as calmly as you can just GET THERE. 

I'd been scared of the gondolas, but now I couldn't imagine anything more comforting and secure than getting in one and going up high above those bears. I never felt my mama-hood more than I did in this 10 minutes of terror.

Simon likes to be scared, he likes adventure and risk, he gets a rush from it. I can see why he'd wanted to keep going. And I appreciate that he followed me back down. Later he thanked me for my sanity, as we mentioned this to other people and saw a mother and her daughter anxiously trying to get on the gondola after they too had seen the mama and cubs and we told them about the growl. The more people we told the more people were like, "Yeah, smart choice coming back to the gondolas." You never know. Right, Whistler? You ARE Bear Country after all. 

The next terror, that I couldn't shake as I was anticipating it, was the Peak to Peak. I wanted to get it over with! What an amazing thing you have, Whistler! A gondola from one mountain (Blackomb) to You! Over a valley way way way way down below! The biggest and highest gondola of its kind in the whole world! As soon as we got on, with one other couple on the other side of a partition, all of us masked, the gondola dipped into the valley and I started crying, and closed my eyes for the remainder of the 11 minutes of torture. Chatting nervously about anything other than what we were doing. Just wanting it to be over. Holding onto Simon so tightly and realizing that this was why I'd wanted to do it, for this moment of holding onto him and him trying to soothe me while also getting to enjoy the adventure. Knowing he was out there on the other side of my closed eyes, smiling and looking down and getting scared and loving it. And loving that I was clinging to him.

Anyway, Whistler, wow. I don't think I'll enjoy that part of you again, but I'm not sorry I did it. It was amazing. As was the biking we did the next day (more my speed) with our sore hiking muscles! The dirt bike parks with the hills (too chicken so I just watched! and told Simon to "conquer your fears and do it!" when he'd hesitate...it was fun watching him be scared).

One of those days we marveled at the people in the resort pool. "Why would you come all this way just to swim in the hotel pool?" Simon asked. "Ha, yeah, I know."

But by the end of our second full day we knew. We were exhausted. I hadn't been this exhausted in I have no idea how long. Maybe cause I've been semi-retired the last 4 months? Slowly moving through days with a wishy-washy sense of purpose? And here I was thinking I was hot stuff and could do this hike and then a full day of biking, all in the hot sun? I mean, writing it now it doesn't seem like much, Whistler. So I hope you don't think too much less of me. But really, we were dead tired by the end of our second day. And then Simon said, "I think what you need to do when you come here is have one full day of stuff, then a day off in between. Then a full day of stuff..."...Hence...the pool, I thought. And I think he did too. 

It was hard leaving, that morning on the last day. I hadn't slept well the night before cause I was worrying about what it would be like to come back with the kids, worrying about how I'd get my work done with my new job, worrying about money, worrying about which way we should come (bus again? car?) worrying about how sad I was gonna be that Simon and I would have to leave this little honeymoon place. Worrying if we'd ever come back, if we could hold on to this spirit once home in our real lives off the mountain. 

I missed the kids, during this couple time. I thought about them every instance we passed the vending machines in the building, saying how much I knew they'd love those. How much they would love the biking Simon did--and I watched--at the bike park. I looked at families longingly, like it was wrong I was without mine. But really, not much, because I wanted to savour this time with just us. I knew when I'd be back that I'd be wrangling the kids and then looking at couples in their lovey-dovey freedom!

It was easy with Simon. Easy to agree on what to do (aside from the initial gondola difference), easy to decide where to eat. 

We left the place and I cried, him hugging me every five minutes leading up to that, telling me how much he loved me and how, "Didn't we have a good time? I had a good time." 

And we closed the door on that tranquil spot. Got back to that bus. 

And the girl was on it again. This time she sat in the back, and another sketch guy came on too. Drunk and talking loudly and aggressively on his phone nearly the entire time. I only know it was the whole time cause Simon told me--I'd decided to listen to music. It was time to go back to Vancouver, and reality, for a little splash before I came back to you Whistler, a different version of myself.

You'd be able to ease the transition, though. I knew! 

And I couldn't wait.

Thanks again, and see you soon,

Megan

..........

Dear Whistler,

Imagine coming back to your honeymoon, With Your Kids!

Yeah. How was that? Crazy weird sad awesome? As soon as I pulled open that door to the honeymoon unit, with the kids this time, I had the sadness. Simon wasn't with me. This peaceful haven we'd barely taken up any space in would now be covered with more people, more toys, more mess, more noise, more demands. More laughing and joy too, I knew. And fighting! I had some moments of sadness as I tried to adjust to this new way of experiencing the place, a mother this time. And then I did it. 

Really, all kids need for a good vacation is a vending machine and a swimming pool. I'd been right about the vending machines: EVERY time we passed them Hosea asked when we'd get something. Even on the way up to our room the very first time!!! "On the last day you can get something from the vending machine," I'd said. How important are vending machines to you, Whistler? And outdoor pools? The highlight of our days was visiting the resort pool, of which we could only get 30 minutes due to COVID. But! The anticipation with which the kids approached that pool! Something to be bottled and sold! As long as the feeling wouldn't disappear too easily...a fortune could be made.

I had been looking forward to visiting the little grocery store near the place, with the kids. Letting them help pick snacks and stuff to stock the kitchen. With Simon I'd imagined how fun that stop would be with them! Letting them help pick groceries! 

Not so! We went in there after they all complained of how HOT it was and WHEN do we get to go swimming and then immediately there they were begging me for candy and souvenirs and soda! Taking over the store with their demands! Me snapping at them and thinking, This was NOT how I imagined it! I don't want to get you greedy spoiled entitled children ANYTHING! 

I think we had to get over that bump. We were testing each others' limits and setting the tone for the trip. After that things were better. And we had snacks.

Whistler, your bike park is amazing. Your trails. Your lakes. Your beauty. Your expensive attractions and activities! Your adventure! But did I mention that all the kids really need is a vending machine and an outdoor pool? Oh, and TV with endless channels (cause we don't have this at home) and a gas fireplace that can be turned on and off whenever one wants (cause we don't have this at home) even! on a hot hot hot summer afternoon. 

Oh but the bike park! Hosea said it was better than Disneyland. Therese did jumps that Simon wouldn't even do. Both of them fell and were alright, didn't break anything, got right back up (with a smile--Hosea) (with tears--Therese--and then over it). We rode trails too. Had a swim. Did the bike park more. Hosea didn't want me to tell him when it would be time to go, "Cause I'll be disappointed." He wanted to just keep riding. Suck as much of that into his being as possible! Focus! No breaks! Don't think about how it will some-time end!

It did. And the next day he asked me allllllllll day what percent chance it'd be that we'd ride again. "50%?" "Yes, maybe," "Oh the bike shop is closing soon, I don't think we're gonna do it again honey," "Don't say that. Just...10% chance?" "Sure, 10% chance," "Oh I don't wanna walk by the bike place cause if I do I'll feel too sad and disappointed." Gee he's learning to express his emotions so appropriately. (He later told me he took his restaurant leftovers home NOT so he could eat them, but because, "I didn't want the lady (server) to feel bad.")

It hurt me, too, to not do the bikes again. Whistler, you know too well about that. When people visit you you want them to have the best of times! People want to treat each other to the best of times! But sometimes there are limits. And those bikes were pricey, and we had no cohesive 4-person agreement on getting them again (although weighted in getting them again, just the money portion had me second guessing...) so we didn't. And Hosea's being was sadly hurting all day because of it. 

All the more to look forward to next time!!

And the playground was amazing that day. And so was the pool. And ice cream. And laughing.

All the more to look forward to next time!! 

There are limits for a reason, you're right, Whistler.

There with the kids I knew I'd miss the couple-dom, especially when I saw couples, which I did. But I'd already had that time, so it was more a happy reminiscing that it brought. There with the kids I got the joys of single parenting! No struggles for control! Just me in charge! (I love to be in charge.) But it was hard to please everyone, and in that logistical sense two parents is easier. Plus, the whole joy of togetherness. All that. 

There with the kids I savoured their ice cream joy. And, just as I'd anticipated, those evening walks through the paths, back to our place. Having had a wonderful day. Laughing together and so much more relaxed than we often are here, back in real life. Coming up with the new vacation jokes to go alongside some of the old vacation jokes that still come up when we escape out of town. "Hot wheels on the bridge now," rap, for example. We all have our own, don't we? Whistler, do you realize you help that?

I had the best of both worlds. There with my kids and my man for a short bit, there with just my man for a longer bit, there with just my kids for a longer bit. I realize it couldn't get much better than that. 

Can I just go by myself now too?

Well, the last day came. Time to leave the place for good, at least, leave that unit 364 for good. Empty the trash and start the dishwasher and check out. When we woke up that morning, Hosea in the king size bed we shared that he slept diagonal and horizontal and ON TOP OF ME across each night, well the first thing he asked was if we'd be getting bikes that day, and if not, what were we gonna do? He already sounded kind of disappointed, anticipating my no bikes response. I said, "Well, we have to leave today, we have to check out and go back home."

His face perked up. "Then can we get stuff from the vending machine?!!" 

Thanks Whistler. You probably know this, what with all your bears and stuff, and expensive foods and souvenirs...and vending machines...but you are truly life giving. Truly truly truly.

Until next time--

With love,

Megan