They're not just for women, ok? The whole cycle thing either, ok? There's research. It's like I'm two different people, and I've been warned it only gets worse with age. "Mama, you 39?" "Yes, Hosea, THIRty nine...not FORty nine." "I know, FOR(3)ty nine!" And maybe during this oft-repeated-conversation I'll be completely irritated and exasperated that he's interrupted me again with this question, or maybe I'll be kind of dismissive like I'm really in the middle of DOING something so why THIS question right NOW, or maybe I'll think the question is just so incredibly sweet and it'll make me think of how innocent and tender the whole interaction is and how oh I wish he could just stay this age forever and how oh no he won't and neither will I and how oh no someday I'll miss these kind of moments and how oh no someday he'll be old and grown up and 39 himself  (whoops did I just say 39 is "old&q

Do you remember that first time in your life when you actually thought about death? Realized it was a real thing, it would happen to you, it would happen to everyone you know? I remember. I was sitting in my Grandma Hope and Grandpa Harry's dining room, having just finished a meal, and something about our conversation led me to the memorable realization that I would die someday. And the more I thought about it the more I felt like I was just falling into this huge black hole of nothingness, and it was terrifying. So I stopped thinking about it. A friend told me recently something I'd heard before--basically that everything we do in life is to distract us from the fact that we'll die someday. Really? I do a lot of stuff, I keep pretty busy, but I still manage to think about death pretty much every day. Sometimes multiple times a day. Is that normal? ****** My son has been asking me questions about death for the last year or so. Maybe his ah-ha death-moment was mu