Love In The Time Of A Bike Crash
Sometimes my man and I bicker over little things, in little ways, and I find it quite amusing. "It's like we're 90 years old or something!" I'll say, smiling. That kind of bickering is fun. There's a camaraderie there, a sense of humour...as long as no one takes it too seriously.
One thing we like to bicker about, IF the mood strikes us, is cycling etiquette. Let's just say we both have our weaknesses. And as we know, it's in close relationships with others--especially romantic ones--that we do our BEST to notice those weaknesses. (Or is that just something I'm guilty of? Haha yeah I don't think I'm the only one...!)
Yesterday we went out nice and "early"(for us, for a holiday...) ...at 11am(!) for a bike ride. We're both the late-type so we don't really bicker over that, thank goodness!
"Let's try and get out of here by 9," he'd said the night before.
Well, 11 it was. And neither of us was upset about it. Just happy to be out together.
We started our ride and I got curious about how long he'd been cycling around cities for, because he has such finesse on that bike! And in that mood I was finding it QUITE attractive. So I asked him.
"Oh ever since I was little...I'd ride around Toronto..." he explained to me, as I observed his confidence, his no-handed riding, his smooth turns...all that.
But then, a little later--"Hey! Remember I'm following you! You've gotta tell me when we're turning!" and, "Hey, I don't wanna ride on the SIDEWALK! Why do you do that? One or the other!"...can you hear my voice there? Well if you're my man reading this then yes, you can most certainly hear my voice there. "Ok ok," he'd smile and accommodate, despite my less-than-gentle approach. It was just the friendly bickering anyway. The type that's kinda fun. (Right Simon?)
Let's back this up, though. Cause whoops I've subconsciously postponed going over my annoying cycling habits. I've got to be fair. APPARENTLY I kind of hog the bike path. I kind of take up both sides when other people should get some of the space. APPARENTLY. But I think I'm being perfectly aware and moving out of the way when necessary! And at LEAST I don't veer from street to sidewalk randomly. At LEAST! Oh, my man can hear that too. All that, in my special voice.
Ok ok ok...so we went for this ride, I gave him these very sincere compliments, and then gave him some very sincere criticism later. I was probably doing my own annoying stuff...I wouldn't know cause I'm oblivious to it (or...am I?)...and then we got to the bike path by the seawall. And Simon said, "Let's get out of here soon, it's way too crowded." I agreed.
Honestly, there's not much more annoying to a cyclist than a bunch of slow tourist/invader looky-loos half-heartedly trying to stay on THEIR side of the path on a beautiful summer day!
But...they need to have their fun too. So we try to ride more mindfully.
Just a little bit after we grumbled about the crowds, how we'd need to get out of there soon, well we were crossing this little bridge and some tourist/invader looky-loo turned sharply on foot into the bike lane--to LOOK at something of course. He turned left, right in front of Simon, who was on his bike, who then came too close to me with his handlebars ("Hey! You're too close to me!" I'd said(?)/thought(?) multiple times that morning already), and then BAM our handle bars were tangled up. I had been sandwiched in between Simon and the bridge wall, being the path-hog that I am, and I had been trying to ride side-by-side where I shouldn't be---so I crashed.
But only after HE crashed into ME!
(I think.)
Needless to say, we were both on the ground at this point. Bikes atop us. His coffee spilled everywhere. Ohhhh that finesse I told you about includes coffee drinking while cycling. And instead of spilling on HIM it spilled all over my shorts and purse.
Can you see it?
Yes, there are many sides to every story. But that is not the point here.
The point is that AFTER it happened the looky-loos tried to help. But then walked on once they saw we had it under control. Albeit I, for one, was quite embarrassed! And inside I had my charges planned. Oooh I was grumbling them to myself. But my man was fixing everything, checking if I was ok over and over and over again, "Are you ok baby?", "Let me check your bike", "Where'd you get hurt?"
A few exchanges the next 10 minutes or so revealed that each of us secretly harbored blame toward the other. Big surprise!
"You were hogging the path! You should've been in front/behind me!"
"You were too close to me! You keep not paying attention!"
But then, then we just both agreed that we'd both been at fault in our own usual ways, and we apologized to each other! Like that! And we also agreed that yes that looky-loo also played a part. We dusted it all off once and for all, and then laughed about it off and on the rest of the way home.
As I thought about what had happened later that night, and then today, a few things crossed my mind: 1) Simon WAS too close to me! Ok? Too cocky! 2) I was hogging the path. Ok?! So American of me. 3) Those looky-loos need to pay more attention! 4) Maybe you have your own point to add? 4) Why can't most conflicts end like this? So easy. So quick to the laughing part.
I could go on and on about how it's because oooooooh aren't we just a pair? All that. Aren't I lucky? All that. And yeah that's fine and I do feel lucky. But that is not the point. The point is the conflict was so quick and clean and fair. Nothing to spend too much time fixating on. Easy to brush off.
What a lesson in life. I want to keep this close to me.
It's a way to show love to myself! For one major thing.
But also of course a way to show love to my Love.
And to my "neighbour"s on the bike path and wherever.
Hey, to my kids too, now that I think of it.
I mean, to everyone I guess.
But hmmm maybe let's start small here, ok? Little successes.
Little successes like Love In The Time Of A Bike Crash. I'll build from there.
One thing we like to bicker about, IF the mood strikes us, is cycling etiquette. Let's just say we both have our weaknesses. And as we know, it's in close relationships with others--especially romantic ones--that we do our BEST to notice those weaknesses. (Or is that just something I'm guilty of? Haha yeah I don't think I'm the only one...!)
Yesterday we went out nice and "early"(for us, for a holiday...) ...at 11am(!) for a bike ride. We're both the late-type so we don't really bicker over that, thank goodness!
"Let's try and get out of here by 9," he'd said the night before.
Well, 11 it was. And neither of us was upset about it. Just happy to be out together.
We started our ride and I got curious about how long he'd been cycling around cities for, because he has such finesse on that bike! And in that mood I was finding it QUITE attractive. So I asked him.
"Oh ever since I was little...I'd ride around Toronto..." he explained to me, as I observed his confidence, his no-handed riding, his smooth turns...all that.
But then, a little later--"Hey! Remember I'm following you! You've gotta tell me when we're turning!" and, "Hey, I don't wanna ride on the SIDEWALK! Why do you do that? One or the other!"...can you hear my voice there? Well if you're my man reading this then yes, you can most certainly hear my voice there. "Ok ok," he'd smile and accommodate, despite my less-than-gentle approach. It was just the friendly bickering anyway. The type that's kinda fun. (Right Simon?)
Let's back this up, though. Cause whoops I've subconsciously postponed going over my annoying cycling habits. I've got to be fair. APPARENTLY I kind of hog the bike path. I kind of take up both sides when other people should get some of the space. APPARENTLY. But I think I'm being perfectly aware and moving out of the way when necessary! And at LEAST I don't veer from street to sidewalk randomly. At LEAST! Oh, my man can hear that too. All that, in my special voice.
Ok ok ok...so we went for this ride, I gave him these very sincere compliments, and then gave him some very sincere criticism later. I was probably doing my own annoying stuff...I wouldn't know cause I'm oblivious to it (or...am I?)...and then we got to the bike path by the seawall. And Simon said, "Let's get out of here soon, it's way too crowded." I agreed.
Honestly, there's not much more annoying to a cyclist than a bunch of slow tourist/invader looky-loos half-heartedly trying to stay on THEIR side of the path on a beautiful summer day!
But...they need to have their fun too. So we try to ride more mindfully.
Just a little bit after we grumbled about the crowds, how we'd need to get out of there soon, well we were crossing this little bridge and some tourist/invader looky-loo turned sharply on foot into the bike lane--to LOOK at something of course. He turned left, right in front of Simon, who was on his bike, who then came too close to me with his handlebars ("Hey! You're too close to me!" I'd said(?)/thought(?) multiple times that morning already), and then BAM our handle bars were tangled up. I had been sandwiched in between Simon and the bridge wall, being the path-hog that I am, and I had been trying to ride side-by-side where I shouldn't be---so I crashed.
But only after HE crashed into ME!
(I think.)
Needless to say, we were both on the ground at this point. Bikes atop us. His coffee spilled everywhere. Ohhhh that finesse I told you about includes coffee drinking while cycling. And instead of spilling on HIM it spilled all over my shorts and purse.
Can you see it?
Yes, there are many sides to every story. But that is not the point here.
The point is that AFTER it happened the looky-loos tried to help. But then walked on once they saw we had it under control. Albeit I, for one, was quite embarrassed! And inside I had my charges planned. Oooh I was grumbling them to myself. But my man was fixing everything, checking if I was ok over and over and over again, "Are you ok baby?", "Let me check your bike", "Where'd you get hurt?"
A few exchanges the next 10 minutes or so revealed that each of us secretly harbored blame toward the other. Big surprise!
"You were hogging the path! You should've been in front/behind me!"
"You were too close to me! You keep not paying attention!"
But then, then we just both agreed that we'd both been at fault in our own usual ways, and we apologized to each other! Like that! And we also agreed that yes that looky-loo also played a part. We dusted it all off once and for all, and then laughed about it off and on the rest of the way home.
As I thought about what had happened later that night, and then today, a few things crossed my mind: 1) Simon WAS too close to me! Ok? Too cocky! 2) I was hogging the path. Ok?! So American of me. 3) Those looky-loos need to pay more attention! 4) Maybe you have your own point to add? 4) Why can't most conflicts end like this? So easy. So quick to the laughing part.
I could go on and on about how it's because oooooooh aren't we just a pair? All that. Aren't I lucky? All that. And yeah that's fine and I do feel lucky. But that is not the point. The point is the conflict was so quick and clean and fair. Nothing to spend too much time fixating on. Easy to brush off.
What a lesson in life. I want to keep this close to me.
It's a way to show love to myself! For one major thing.
But also of course a way to show love to my Love.
And to my "neighbour"s on the bike path and wherever.
Hey, to my kids too, now that I think of it.
I mean, to everyone I guess.
But hmmm maybe let's start small here, ok? Little successes.
Little successes like Love In The Time Of A Bike Crash. I'll build from there.
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